Case of the Mondays

Preface: You do not have to have seen Office Space to understand this blog although it is a great movie definitely worth seeing.

We feel it coming on Sunday night when we set the alarm and get our clothes ready. The feeling gets worse when you begin that morning commute, the boiling point occurs when you step foot into the office, school, or site of employment. "Case of the Mondays" was a quote made most popular and memorable by 1999's Office Space. Specifically, the quote references when someone is having a rough time dealing with work. Realistically, "case of the Mondays" does not represent having a bad Monday, but rather the idea that you still have Tuesday - Friday to get through. It is the idea of what is forthcoming that gives you a Case of the Mondays. Suffice it to say that if you workweek is structured differently, say you work Weds - Sun, then your Case of the Wednesdays is equivalent to a Case of the Mondays. For the purpose of this post, Case of the Mondays will hereafter be referred to as COM or the affliction.

You ever hear that expression: "If you put something out into the Universe, it will come back to you." Well this affliction works the same way. If you feel the oncoming COM and allow it then you will feel like you need a drink after every single workday, or worse take it out on the faulty copier machine (again see Office Space). However, if you feel the impending affliction and allow it to pass through you and look at every day on its own, then you may find it much easier to bear. Do not think of it as the workweek, but rather today is Monday what will I accomplish today...only today. Incidentally, I have my own way of dealing with COM that I am willing to share.

It's quite simple with COM, there is an inverse feeling; I call it Case of the Thursdays, but truthfully it has no name. But as the name suggests it is that happy feeling you have when you know you only have one more workday and that is Friday then your weekend. Most people make plans for the weekend, even if the plan is to sit at home or do some cleaning. No I did not digress, I was introducing my idea by giving you some background. What I do to battle the affliction, is set plans for me to do during the week. For example, Monday, pick up my car; Tuesday go to the doctor to get routine blood work done (I emphasize it so people don't try spreading rumors) and go to Home Depot after work; Wednesday try out that spin class and call my good friend ___ who I have not spoken to in a while; Thursday check out that new Happy Hour I heard about.

See that I made little things to do during the week to break up the monotony. Are they fun things? No, not all of them. But at least each day gives me something small to look forward to, a change in my schedule. In the event someone asks what am I doing tonight, which almost never occurs especially on Monday. I can say, "well I will be doing..." Now this works for me and it may or may not work for you. Either way COM is horrible affliction, and you do not want to spend the rest of your working life fighting a losing battle. So either get over it, try to switch it up, or.... quit.

Tune In, Tune Out

This post is inspired by music. Yes folks music, that art form that ties us all together. That beautiful collection of sounds that can make love to our souls, seduce our hearts and fuck our brains. This is not a post about that though, it's a post about as we tune into music, what are we tuning out.

See I am your typical young man. If I am on the metro I have my iPod in, when I am at work I am rocking out to Pandora on my phone, driving home it is the radio unless there is a commercial then it is my CDs. The only time I do not listen to music is watching the limited TV I do watch at home. Freeze frame! Rewind several years...actually a little more than several (guess I am showing my age) when I was interning in DC one summer. I was on the metro looking dashing and handsome, per usual, and a young female was checking me out. Matter of fact she got on at Naylor Road. Now she kept looking at me and then began smiling, I returned the smile. As you all may know from earlier posts, I have no game, however, if someone makes it clear that they are interested as this young lady did, it will instill me with enough confidence to at least say hi. Let me just pause this thing real quick so I can hear her, fumbled with it a little, and go talk to...she was gone. Yep, she must have got off at Navy Yard or Waterfront (which who even works there anyway) because in the time it took me to decide whether to pause my iPod or just take out my headphones, and then actually execute said action, she was at her stop.

Now this little occurrence did not stop me from rocking out everyday on the metro. Or listening to Pandora at work, but yesterday I got the thinking. What am I tuning out when I tune in? So I tried a little experiment, I spent the 1st part of yesterday morning with no headphones on. Haha, the lady across from me is actually pretty funny. Oh damn, so they really don't like her? That's right I need to get some brown shoe polish. While I am thinking about it let me just call to confirm. I remembered to do some things I had been putting off, and honestly learned more about my co-workers in those few hours then I had since starting there. By 10am my headphones were back on, but I had learned something...

Music is great and its wonderful, and it is all the things I said before. It brings us together, it makes us happy, it creates special moments, and it can summarize moments in history better than some books. At the same time, when we are listening to music we can also be tuning out not just the world but ourselves. Now some of my more hardcore music listeners who never go anywhere without headphones being more than 6 inches from their ears will object to this. They can think clearly when they listen to music, and they do not care about office gossip or shenanigans so why should they go without music for any period of time. But for some of my more open-minded readers spend 30 mins a day without music or tv, and see what you hear and what you think of; other than I can't believe I listened to Kamal has it been 30 mins yet...

Weekend Brunch, TV-MA

This post is inspired by Sunday Brunches and dedicated to all those I have brunched with and will brunch with in the future. Be it Saturday or Sunday, brunch has become a staple (2nd entry, 3rd definition) in my adult life. However, it was not until today I truly understood the reasons why. With these reasons, it is fair to say this post is not simply about brunch but about a state of maturity.

First reason I enjoy my weekend brunch is because I get to hang out with my friends in a low-key, non-partying environment. This gives you a chance to catch up on life, check-in about work and social/relationships, or discuss current events. Also, there is no facade of fancy clothes. You're not at a lounge you are at a restaurant or cafe. It is daytime not nighttime. There is no reason to wear that new sweater or get all dressed up. You wear what you plan to wear all day, for me this is typically a t-shirt and jeans. You reach a point in life where you don't need drinks to be social...let me rephrase that...you SHOULD reach a point in your life where you do not need drinks to be social.

Another good thing about weekend brunches is due to workweek schedules, you never have time for a GREAT breakfast during the week. You may be able to schedule a good dinner here and there, but unless you have the best work cafeteria, or you wake up at the crack of dawn to make yourself breakfast, chances are your breakfast options are pretty limited. When you have started a career it is fairly easy to fall into the same routine over and over. Enjoying weekend brunches gives you he chance to not only put variety in your food but in your environment. Trying out different restaurants, different food items, and with different people.

I recommend different people because as you mature you also realize the people you may party with are not necessarily the people you can eat brunch with. Yeah she seemed really cool when you were on your 3rd cup of Gentleman's Jack Daniels chilled, but over this OJ and Belgian waffle, she lacks a certain substance. This does not make her a bad person simply means you know that she is not the kind of person you want to have brunch with. Refer to Skin Deep and Auditions. Also, when you brunch with different people you get the opportunity to cultivate and develop more mature relationships with your friends and people you may have recently met. You are never at the age where you are done expanding or reducing your circle of friends, if you do not believe me ask your parents. You may lose some friends you have known for years, and you may gain some new ones you have met recently. In sum, this post is not simply about weekend brunch, but more about what it represents. Adding variety to your routine, getting to know people outside of a party setting, and having mature conversations about the things that actually matter. Now to enjoy the rest of Football Sunday.

Wingman 101

This post is inspired by life's events. A wingman is supposed to be the dude/friend you can count on to go out with you to the bar, club, lounge whatever and help you pick up some phyne female specimens to get to know better. A wingman does not always have to be a dude either, most if not all men have a few select female friends he is tight with. These females can also fill the role of wingman, and usually they outshine their male counterparts in this capacity...but I digress.

I, personally, do not have what I would call "good" wingmen. See I have male friends I can count on to go out with me, party with me, got my back if something goes down, etc. But as far as them having the inside track and helping me pull some potential mates, that would be null and void. This is probably because I myself am not a good wingman. That's right, I admit it. If you expect me to help you get some girl (or guy its a free country) phone number for you, then you may be expecting too much. For this reason I cannot be mad that my friends are not good wingmen. I can't be mad at you for not executing something I also cannot do. With that being said there are a few rules I follow, that I am willing to share, which helps improve my lackluster of wingmanness. SN: it is my blog and I will make up words if I want to.

#1 - don't disappear. Fellas and Ladies, I cannot express this enough. The worst thing you could do is leave your friend and go somewhere else in the bar or outside the bar to do your own thing. If you did so to get at someone else then try to bring them back or let your friend know where you at ASAP.

#2 - hold a convo. Chances are whatever female or male is approached is not alone. Make your best efforts to entertain the other person because if your friend starts talking to a girl and her female friend is just standing there staring, things will get uncomfortable really quickly. I know I know you have no game. Neither do I but I can talk my way out of a prison if need be, so make something up and try to be cool (don't let em see you sweat).

#3 - if your friends are there introduce them. If you are so lucky to go to a venue with your boy and some of your female friends are there (btw this is not considered lucky in DC because everyone is everywhere all the time smh [apologies again I digress]). Do your boy a favor and introduce him to your friends. This is not only beneficial because he gets to meet some phyne ass females (cause your friends better not be ugly) but this will make him feel more comfortable in the venue and instill some confidence in him.

#4 - if it's time to roll, then it's time to roll. This should really call for no explanation, unless you are making some headway with a potential interest, you are ready to go when your friend is ready to go. Period. Because when the dust clears it is still "bros before hoes" or whatever equivalent female expression would suffice.

As I stated I don't expect a great wingman because I myself am not one. But I do expect a wingman who could at least adhere to these simple rules. Until next time folks...

I'm Ill/Workaholic

In the past week I have used a total of 21 hrs and 15 mins of sick leave. All week people have been telling me to stay home and rest. You have sick leave use it. Why are you trying to get other people sick? F that man, that's not what I believe in. I believe in working and accumulating as much leave as possible. Why should I be forced to give up my sick leave for something that could be a minor cold? (Turned out to be strep throat but whatever). I spent the majority of 2010 looking for a job, and you think not that I have one I am going to let myself look like the guy slowing up productivity because I do not feel well. It never occurred to me until quite recently that the problem was not simply leave...trust me that's a big part of it, but I am sort of a workaholic...more like a busybody.

I knew this was the case when during the couple days I had a fever of 104 and was sleeping at random times my dad came to check on me. He said, "Hey Kamal, are you feeling better?" I jumped up and said, "Yes, why is it time for work?" I immediately strained my eyes to focus on the clock. He said, "No, no. It's only 8 o'clock (at night) you can go back to bed." Now I don't know how many of you had ever experienced a bad fever, but quite simply your brain is not equipped to make sense of things in that condition. You are able to think clearly, but not think logically. After my dad left, I began picking out what I would wear to work tomorrow, this was me thinking clearly. The fact that I was sick and should be calling out did not even occur to me, this was me not thinking logically. The next morning I got up got dressed, quite nicely I might add, and was completely prepared for work. I went upstairs shakily, and collapsed into the kitchen chair. Eventually, I was convinced that going to work was not in my best interests and went back to bed.

Naturally, as you may have guessed I went to work the next time. This time I avoided the kitchen for fear "they" might try to convince me to stay home again. This was me thinking clearly. I coughed the whole time I was at work, to the point where people starting spraying Lysol around their cubicles (That's right Ms. Williams I know you were over there judging me!) I finally surrendered and went to the doctor probably the first clear and logical thing I had done that week. After receiving orders from the doctor "strongly discouraging me from going to work" I decided to give in and stay home. Less than 24 hours later and I am writing my 2nd blog post.

See I guess it's not so much that I am a workaholic as I do not like to sit at home and do nothing. I was raised to believe that you only get somewhere in this world by working for it, and being a male in the Jobe family there seems to be this inability to sit still too long (unless there is a good game or movie on). Now that my fever has subsided and I am still off of work to ensure I am 100% Tuesday morning I have already plotted out my weekend and exactly what I plan to accomplish at work next week. My friend once told me the reason I get sick it's because it is the only thing that will slow me down. Well years later I can admit she was right. If I'm not working, socializing, or planning ... I'm ill.

Blaxploitation

Preface: Blaxploitation is a term coined in the 1970s when a slate of films, seemingly an entire industry, was created geared to the black urban audience. Today, the best example of these films would be Tyler Perry's films, which are more suburban than anything but that's a whole other blog. Today's post has nothing to do with that, well not specifically.

This post is inspired by my life, people I have met in my life, and oddly enough watching the Season Premiere of The Game, or more specifically the tweets that followed it. There is a quote from A Different World, where Dean Davenport, (Jenifer Lewis), told Charmaine, "You don't have to push others down to get to the top."

It occurs to me that we, as a black community, are often so critical of each other, of black programming, and of black films that most of us (me NOT included) sound like haters. Pure haters! It's just a show, if you don't like it then use the remote. Sure you can tweet about it, but the whole "Oh BET never..." or " Of course since it's a black woman it's ....". I don't like a lot of things on tv, and I don't like Tyler Perry films, but it is because I think they're stupid. I still support Tyler Perry , his vision, and what he has done for black actors and actresses; I simply do not do so financially. Similarly, I do not normally watch BET shows because I don't like most of them. It's not because BET is a bad network. I don't watch a lot of CBS shows either, but I love CBS Sunday Morning News and Face the Nation, just like I now like BET's The Game.

If I don't like something it's not because black writers are not as good as their Jewish counterparts, it's because I did not like it. I enjoyed The Game season premiere, it had (mostly the same cast) and the same writers just on a different network. Nothing about that night's premiere had anything to do with BET. However, some people feel like a show being on BET entitles it to either more protection or more criticism. Why? I didn't like American Idol not because it was on Fox, but because I think reality tv is lame. I enjoyed Flavor of Love not because it was black but because it had beautiful black women who would do anything for a buck, which by the way got old after Season One. I don't watch Real Housewives of Atlanta or any of those shows, but last I checked the ones in Orange County are as much a mess as the ones in Atlanta. See! You don't have to be black to be trifling and back-stabbing, you just have to be a female with a reality show. Okay, maybe I went too far on that one.

The point is if you want to uplift the black community you are not going to do it by slamming the projects that do not meet your approval of "high colored standards". You are going to do it by judging those projects the same way you do the ones on CBS or ABC. When white people do not watch House of Payne (such a bad show) they don't talk about how it sucks cause it's a black comedy. They couldn't because a lot of Caucasians crack up at Everybody Hates Chris or That's So Raven (I am a little out of date, don't judge me). Like Jay said, "It's only entertainment." Watch it or see it because you enjoy it not because you feel you have to. If you don't like it criticize it based on its substantive value not because you have some pre-conceived notion that anything other than directing, writing, and acting had anything to do with your enjoyment. SN: if anyone else put together the hidden mildly racist joke in this paragraph feel free to share with others.

Resolve to Not make a Resolution

Sorry for my Holiday hiatus, but I am back in action. Hope you all still look forward to reading these blogs, as much as I enjoy writing them.
There are plenty of blogs on making New Years Resolutions, and how to make good ones, and how to keep them. What makes mine so different? Well the simple fact that I think the best resolution is not a resolution at all. January 1st comes once a year, so for the other 364 days do you not make any life changes, or set new goals? Well if you don't then shame on you, but chances are you do. And those goals/changes have as much chances of success as those you make it in the month of December to begin on the 1st of the year. Quite simply I am telling you, the best resolution is one you could make on any given day and for any given reason.

With that said, make it simple. Don't vow to lose X amount of pounds, instead vow to stay fit and begin eating healthy. That is something you can implement into your life, and this way if you are not 20 lbs lighter by X date, you have not failed because it was not about the weight it was about the lifestyle. Make it something you can do naturally. Don't vow to not have sex until you are married or in a "committed" relationship, instead vow not to have sex unless the person is worth it. Sex is a natural physical and emotional course of action we take for various reasons, it is okay to let it happen, but do it because you're interested in them not because they gave you a ring or told you that you were now exclusive. Make a change or goal that you have control over. Don't guarantee a promotion by fall, but rather promise yourself that you will work harder whether or not your boss notices the stronger work ethic you have. You have no say on who your boss picks as a favorite, or the budget, or the HR process, therefore do not set yourself up for possible failure.

Finally, write down these goals/changes/choices, declare them and throw it away. If they are truly changes you want to make: simple, easy, controllable, and without force then there is no need to write them down. They should be changes in your life, that you can measure on a daily basis. I, myself, wrote down (well digitally) three areas: fitness, career, and personal. I put down two-three goals I had for each area. I declared these goals to my parents, and to several close friends, and then I deleted the document. The point of declaration is that if you fail to make these changes for YOUR betterment the people close to you can call you on it. And if they are, as we said, easy controllable, simple then you have no excuse for not implementing the changes. Bottom line: don't make resolutions, make necessary simple controllable changes in your life. They should be attainable, they should come as natural as falling in love, and they should be something you don't need to be reminded of. In the event that you do slip, it is always good to have people close to you that can call you on it, and you can rectify the problem. Oh yeah, and Happy New Years everyone. Make 2011 the best by living, laughing, and loving more than you did in years past.