Skin Deep
This post is inspired by one of my best friends, and one of my most trusted confidants, my LB aka LBoog aka Boogie. I want to preface this by saying this post is not about yelling or being angry, but about acknowledging people and their place in your life. Here we go...
Everyone recognizes there are different levels of friendships, for example, the person who works in the cubicle or office next to you; you talk to them, you begin by feigning an interest in their life until eventually you get to the point where you may occasionally go out for drinks. There are those friends from school; you laugh, party, and study together vowing to be friends after graduation. Then, you have those real friends who no matter their or your station in life you can pick up where you left off. Sometimes, if not most of the time, it is hard to discern which friendship you have on your hands, and how to act accordingly.
The situation: You and your classmates from school go to a bar. Now these are classmates who you have studied with, laughed with, chilled with...these are your friends from school. Everyone is feeling quite inebriated (s/o Siggy D) and you are doing what you always do: getting it in on the dance floor. I mean you like to boogie so you doing what you do best. Then, it occurs to you that your friends are gone, fastforward a few minutes, your friends left you at the bar. They tried to call, but you didn't answer. "Gee, I am dancing to loud music whilst being tipsy; is it possible I didn't hear my phone." Did they come in to try and find you? Negative. Did they perform any due diligence to inform you they were leaving? Negative. Got news for you, those are not your friends from school; they are simply your classmates.
Take it for what it is worth. Some friendships, especially those that develop from school or work, are limited to those environments. Don't get mad or cry about it. Understand that when it comes right down to it, these are not people you can truly count on. This isn't to say, shun them or don't party with them anymore. Simply understand it is what it is. There is no need to bend over backward to please them, or fight their battles for them because chances are those actions would not be reciprocated.
Cautionary Note: Now I have been surprised by friendships I have made in the past, that actually stood the test of time and environment. In fact one of my closest friends, who I will be seeing this weekend, we went to the same high school but she was not my friend then. We did not go to college or grad school together, yet still me and her have a close bond that has developed over the years. My point is don't fight the development of a good friendship. Sometimes rare opportunities do come along to make a good friend from what seems like a colleague or co-worker, in fact some of my most loyal friends I met in graduate school, others are from my childhood years. However, there will come a time when you think someone is your friend from work or school, and they do something to prove they are merely a colleague or co-worker; don't get mad or yell, take it for what it is. Skin deep.
Everyone recognizes there are different levels of friendships, for example, the person who works in the cubicle or office next to you; you talk to them, you begin by feigning an interest in their life until eventually you get to the point where you may occasionally go out for drinks. There are those friends from school; you laugh, party, and study together vowing to be friends after graduation. Then, you have those real friends who no matter their or your station in life you can pick up where you left off. Sometimes, if not most of the time, it is hard to discern which friendship you have on your hands, and how to act accordingly.
The situation: You and your classmates from school go to a bar. Now these are classmates who you have studied with, laughed with, chilled with...these are your friends from school. Everyone is feeling quite inebriated (s/o Siggy D) and you are doing what you always do: getting it in on the dance floor. I mean you like to boogie so you doing what you do best. Then, it occurs to you that your friends are gone, fastforward a few minutes, your friends left you at the bar. They tried to call, but you didn't answer. "Gee, I am dancing to loud music whilst being tipsy; is it possible I didn't hear my phone." Did they come in to try and find you? Negative. Did they perform any due diligence to inform you they were leaving? Negative. Got news for you, those are not your friends from school; they are simply your classmates.
Take it for what it is worth. Some friendships, especially those that develop from school or work, are limited to those environments. Don't get mad or cry about it. Understand that when it comes right down to it, these are not people you can truly count on. This isn't to say, shun them or don't party with them anymore. Simply understand it is what it is. There is no need to bend over backward to please them, or fight their battles for them because chances are those actions would not be reciprocated.
Cautionary Note: Now I have been surprised by friendships I have made in the past, that actually stood the test of time and environment. In fact one of my closest friends, who I will be seeing this weekend, we went to the same high school but she was not my friend then. We did not go to college or grad school together, yet still me and her have a close bond that has developed over the years. My point is don't fight the development of a good friendship. Sometimes rare opportunities do come along to make a good friend from what seems like a colleague or co-worker, in fact some of my most loyal friends I met in graduate school, others are from my childhood years. However, there will come a time when you think someone is your friend from work or school, and they do something to prove they are merely a colleague or co-worker; don't get mad or yell, take it for what it is. Skin deep.
posted by K. Jobe | 21:32
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