Roger That

This past weekend I went to North Carolina for various reasons. One of which was to see the new chapter bruhs, good to see the legacy continuing onward and upward. A second reason was to visit my married friends, one couple is expecting, and the other recently had their second child. The final reason is a little selfish: the idea of a biological clock started to play tricks on my mind where I felt as if mine was ticking loudly. I went in the hopes that I could hear such horror stories of marriage that I surely would return to the enjoyment of single life with renewed energy and focus.

These couples were happy. Very happy. Of course they had their fights and arguments, but they were happily married and looking forward to future children or very pleased to show off the ones they had. There I was the constant 3rd wheel with people who had found the "one". They had it all planned out. One wife was waiting until the very end to use her maternity leave, and then work from the home office. Another was going to "perhaps" have one more and re-enter the workforce around 30 years old, and never have to use maternity leave.The men were domesticated but had become accustomed to it, and I must admit being domesticated did not seem that bad. They had their mancaves or their friends' houses they always went to, but the women completely understood the man needing time away to...well be a man. I was pretty fed up.

Luckily, a conversation I had with two of the guys helped turn things around. I asked them don't you miss being single? Do you think you settled down too soon? The answer was unequivocal: of course there are things you miss, but you are not settling if you found the one. At this point you are probably regretting reading this blog because you knew from the jump that you get married when you find the one. I knew this too, but the difference is when your biological clock gets a ticking, people who are not the right one bear a shockingly close resemblance. I can look back, and say I honestly have not found the one (not to say I have not had tons of fun with the wrong ones because I have). However, at the end of the day when it comes time to spend my entire life with someone, walking dogs, kissing babies, snapping family photos, talking to the in-laws as much as my own family; there is no rush and no biological clock.

This weekend I learned some people are fortunate enough to find that good thing while they are relatively young. There is nothing wrong with being anxious to settle down, get married, and have kids as long as you do not settle for someone who does not completely make you happy. I did return to my single life with renewed energy and focus on one thing: I will find the right one and I will lock them down ASAP'edly, but until then I will have a lot of fun with the wrong ones.

Pet Peeves/Social Decorum 101

Apologize for the late posting, I am having laptop issues so I do not really have a stable place to express my thoughts. This post is composed of my thoughts, and those of "the brethren". This is what I call I ranting post, no need for deep thinking on this post folks, you will agree with most if not all of this list.

1. Driving in the left lane at right lane speed - need not be explained
2. Full elevator/short ride - if the elevators is full you should not be getting on to go up or down one or two floors. For that matter stop being lazy and do not take the elevator for anything less than 4 floors (unless you're carrying something in your hands).
3. Responding to phone calls via text messages or vice-versa (limited) - this is a big one in this day and age. If I call you or worse call and leave a voicemail, and you decide to text me. You basically just said F you to me. It is proper social decorum that if someone calls, you call them back. Do not believe me look at the legal system. Offer and acceptance traditional principles are based on the form in which the communication was sent. Now the reason vice-versa is limited, because if I am driving, especially in NYC, I tend not to text/bbm while driving. If what you texted about I think may be important or time-sensitive I will call.
4. On that note, text/tweeting/bbming when you are the 1st at the light. You are first at the light, there is no time to look down at your phone because if you do and you miss the second that light turns green you will hear horns honking (especially in NYC). Some drivers will even be so kind as to switch lanes, speed up, get beside you, look at you (while you tell yourself not to look over, but eventually do) and flip you off.
5. Using all caps in emails or text messages. This annoys me so much. Why are you yelling at me? And for that matter people who yell into the phone. If I cannot hear you it is probably because you have bad service (I have Verizon so I'm good) or because there is some background noise in which case instead of yelling one of us should move to a quieter location.
6. Parking regulations!!! Especially in DC. Seriously DC has to have the worst parking regs I have seen. #1 - why can I not park during the hours of 4pm - 6:30pm? Am I incapable of stopping in someplace or reaching my final destination during those hours? #2 - why does parking go until 10pm? Seriously, is the city that broke that I have to stumble out of wherever I am in what is likely the freezing cold to pay a meter. Oh and on that note I got a ticket for parking within 25 feet of a stop sign. Are you freekin $hitting me? 25 feet is far as hell you eliminate like 3 parking spaces per stop sign with that rule.
7. Fat people who did not receive notice that they were fat. I know you think turning sideways (in order to decrease the space you are taking up and let someone pass you) changed the space-time continuum but it did not. You turning sideways  did two things: (1) made you look like a dumbass, (2) made me feel bad for your dumbassedness. Hey if you're fat, claim it. Be aware of your size, move to the side or more likely expect someone to move to the side to let you pass. This parlays into pet peeve #8
8. Personal space - why do you have to be so close to talk to me? why are you hugging me when I this is our first time meeting and we are both sober? Why are you looking over my shoulder before announcing you are standing behind me? Why are you picking up and reading my stuff without asking first? Personal space is a big part of social decorum
9. Fairweather friends and bandwagon fans - this does not require explanation but some friends become your ride or die crew the minute you pass the bar, or the second you get a new job, or the moment you get a new car, or whenever things are going great and here they come as if they been there when you failed the bar, when you were terminated, or when you wrecked your car. Bandwagon fans, i.e. why are you Miami Heat this Miami Heat in all of this current season? Same thing with the Lake Show.
10. Finally, inappropriate grammar usage. This one is personal to me. I even have someone who checks my blogs the day after to see if I missed anything. If it's an IM, BBM, text, Tweet, then that is fine. Those are all very informal forms of communication. However, if we are talking emails or even worse letters. I cringe. If I see someone spell desperate as "despirate" or indefinitely as "endefinately", I may flip some $hit over. On that note, improper use of ellipses or elliptical phrases. If you are confused what an ellipsis is, then that is the first sign that you should not be using the. Nevertheless, an ellipsis are the three dots [...] like so. Please oh please use ellipses correctly, see here.

I promise to try and blog at least once a week, once I solve my computer issues.