Gym Etiquette (7 Simple Rules)

For those who do not know there is a right way and a wrong way to do most things in this world, and that includes things involving fitness. This post is meant for everyone who has, does or plans to work out at a gym; however, I have a feeling this will resonate more with men than women.

1. Tuned out - No I do not have a problem with you, but I came to work out. I have my headphones everytime I work out. I am in the gym usually during my lunch, so I do not have time to sit and chat with you. And seeing my headphones on should make you acutely aware of that. If you do need to interrupt me then it should be related to fitness, to make a hilarious joke, and it would be considerate of you if you did so after I have completed my set. In other words if I am actually in the process of lifting, do not interrupt me for any reason, and if I am not actually lifting do it with a purpose. Shout-out to the old lady who waited for me to complete my set before asking me to show her how a machine worked and spot her.
2. Are You Done Yet? - Now I pretty much always do supersets (combining two or more exercises and alternating in between sets), and often times in doing supersets you may become aware that someone is waiting to use the equipment you are using or that you may just be taking up a lot of time. I personally, will only do two exercises so that way I am not taking up a lot of equipment. If you also do supersets or just work out slow, it is kind to be aware of your surroundings and offer someone to work in with you for that equipment. Or even better work out expeditiously. along with this I must implore you to put the damn weights back. I, personally, do nto care if you put them back exactly where they belong (though you should) but just put them back. When I see weights on the floor I believe they are in use, and will look them over.
3. Keeping Things Private - I do not attend a gym near my house so I regularly shower and change at the gym post-workout. I am not comfortable engaging in covnersation while I am naked or about to be naked. Especially if I do not even know you, and seeing each other at the gym all the time does not constitue knowing me. Now, there is a caveat to this. If you and I were already engaged in conversation, prior to the changing/undressing then I do not expect you to abruptly stop. But it's just a courtesy, similar to the way I would not start speaking to you while you are using the urinal.
4. Keep it down - I understand the grunting, I can get a little noisy, especially on the days I try to move up in weights. However, there are some cats at the gym who feel they need to cause a ruckus. Homie, if it is that serious maybe you should move down in weights and rock a muzzle something. It's not because you are louder than my iPod, which is in fact part of the problem, but there was one time this dude got real loud in the middle of one of my reps and I damn near dropped the weight out of surprise.
5. Keep it Fresh - it did not take me long to discover that clothes with sweat on them stink. I know you are in there to sweat and work out, but some kats have left the gym floor or the lockerroom smelling like fresh vomit from a college freshman or a high school hockey team locker room. If you are serious about fitness you should try to have multiple outfits. If you cannot afford to wash your gym clothes right after your workout, hang them up to dry before putting them in the hamper. Trust me, letting the sweat air dry off the clothes will save you from a lot of stains and a lot of funk.
6. Keep it Cool - it just the gym, it is just fitness, it is a part of life. There is no reason to curse someone out over a machine, class, locker at a place most people go to de-stress. "You're fucking up my (adrenaline/endorphin) high lady, calm down." This is sort of like causing a ruckus with the grunts. There really is no need for really loud yelling, noise or anger at the gym.
7. No pictures, please - Now I have always had some trouble keeping up with what's trendy now. However, I have noticed a lot of dudes posting up pics of themselves at the gym. While I do not understand this bizzare practice, I will not criticize what I do not understand. Just make sure when you snap a pic of yourself, it is of yourself, ensure you do not catch any part of me in your pic. I am there to work out, not look good. Also, if you are going to do it, do it on the floor not in the lockerroom, that is just extra weird for a grown ass man to be walking around a lockerroom snapping pics.

These 7 Simple Rules are all I ask, and all I think anyone is entitled to expect when they go to the gym.

Take a Bow

There are those in this world who would have you believe they are something they are not. There are people in this world who have conceived of a lie so great that they themselves can no longer decipher the truth. There are those whose idea of who they should be are so grandiose that it is easy to feel yourself succumbing to this impression of a seemingly flawless person. These people are quite honestly some of the greatest performers you may encounter in your everyday. Performers are not all they are, they are sellers of sort. They sell you an image that they have spent their lifetime perfecting, and they do this by holding strong in the belief this is who they are and are meant to be.

Knowing and even befriending these people can be benign. However, to date one can result in an ongoing catastrophe. Their minds are so methodical that it is hard to know when you have actually penetrated beyond the surface level face that they display to the world. This is assuming you are even aware that you are dealing with someone who is selling an image, which is usually a fairly easy task. In getting to know one of these people, you will see that their personal life, the life not on display to the world, is largely out of order. Now, granted, orderly in one's life can be subjective, but I am speaking about things such as bills, family, and housing. And I am not speaking about disorderly at the time, but disorderly all the time...in fact I challenge you to call them out on the disorder of their personal life. Their reaction will likely confirm that this person does not have control over anything beneath the surface.

There is a song that comes to mind in addressing this topic, "Take a Bow" by Madonna. In the song, she calls the object of her affection, "one lonely star, you don't even know who you are". These people are often so busy putting forward their image that they are not equipped to relinquish it when the curtains close and there is nobody watching. In this sense they do not know who they are. They do not believe in frustration, arguments or negative emotions, because that is not a part of their show, so when these occur they cannot handle it. They do not know how they are supposed to handle it because they are stuck in the image they have created. When they are confronted with authenticity or the hurdles that one must encounter in life they will almost always act irrationally. They strive to be close to those who have a natural light not the artificial one they have created. They will run from those who have begun to see through the image. In the end you must question is it worth it? Is it worth it to be with someone who is constantly performing, who creates drama by their avoidance of it? My advice is when you see the warning signs that the person you see out, is not the same person behind closed doors... when you see the disorder...when you find that their attraction to you is because of the light you can naturally bring to a room instead of every and anything else about you...when you find that this is the person you are dating, leave. In the end, do you really want to spend a significant amount of time with someone who is so caught up in their image they cannot assume the natural task of being real?