Roger That
This past weekend I went to North Carolina for various reasons. One of which was to see the new chapter bruhs, good to see the legacy continuing onward and upward. A second reason was to visit my married friends, one couple is expecting, and the other recently had their second child. The final reason is a little selfish: the idea of a biological clock started to play tricks on my mind where I felt as if mine was ticking loudly. I went in the hopes that I could hear such horror stories of marriage that I surely would return to the enjoyment of single life with renewed energy and focus.
These couples were happy. Very happy. Of course they had their fights and arguments, but they were happily married and looking forward to future children or very pleased to show off the ones they had. There I was the constant 3rd wheel with people who had found the "one". They had it all planned out. One wife was waiting until the very end to use her maternity leave, and then work from the home office. Another was going to "perhaps" have one more and re-enter the workforce around 30 years old, and never have to use maternity leave.The men were domesticated but had become accustomed to it, and I must admit being domesticated did not seem that bad. They had their mancaves or their friends' houses they always went to, but the women completely understood the man needing time away to...well be a man. I was pretty fed up.
Luckily, a conversation I had with two of the guys helped turn things around. I asked them don't you miss being single? Do you think you settled down too soon? The answer was unequivocal: of course there are things you miss, but you are not settling if you found the one. At this point you are probably regretting reading this blog because you knew from the jump that you get married when you find the one. I knew this too, but the difference is when your biological clock gets a ticking, people who are not the right one bear a shockingly close resemblance. I can look back, and say I honestly have not found the one (not to say I have not had tons of fun with the wrong ones because I have). However, at the end of the day when it comes time to spend my entire life with someone, walking dogs, kissing babies, snapping family photos, talking to the in-laws as much as my own family; there is no rush and no biological clock.
This weekend I learned some people are fortunate enough to find that good thing while they are relatively young. There is nothing wrong with being anxious to settle down, get married, and have kids as long as you do not settle for someone who does not completely make you happy. I did return to my single life with renewed energy and focus on one thing: I will find the right one and I will lock them down ASAP'edly, but until then I will have a lot of fun with the wrong ones.
These couples were happy. Very happy. Of course they had their fights and arguments, but they were happily married and looking forward to future children or very pleased to show off the ones they had. There I was the constant 3rd wheel with people who had found the "one". They had it all planned out. One wife was waiting until the very end to use her maternity leave, and then work from the home office. Another was going to "perhaps" have one more and re-enter the workforce around 30 years old, and never have to use maternity leave.The men were domesticated but had become accustomed to it, and I must admit being domesticated did not seem that bad. They had their mancaves or their friends' houses they always went to, but the women completely understood the man needing time away to...well be a man. I was pretty fed up.
Luckily, a conversation I had with two of the guys helped turn things around. I asked them don't you miss being single? Do you think you settled down too soon? The answer was unequivocal: of course there are things you miss, but you are not settling if you found the one. At this point you are probably regretting reading this blog because you knew from the jump that you get married when you find the one. I knew this too, but the difference is when your biological clock gets a ticking, people who are not the right one bear a shockingly close resemblance. I can look back, and say I honestly have not found the one (not to say I have not had tons of fun with the wrong ones because I have). However, at the end of the day when it comes time to spend my entire life with someone, walking dogs, kissing babies, snapping family photos, talking to the in-laws as much as my own family; there is no rush and no biological clock.
This weekend I learned some people are fortunate enough to find that good thing while they are relatively young. There is nothing wrong with being anxious to settle down, get married, and have kids as long as you do not settle for someone who does not completely make you happy. I did return to my single life with renewed energy and focus on one thing: I will find the right one and I will lock them down ASAP'edly, but until then I will have a lot of fun with the wrong ones.
posted by K. Jobe | 21:48
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home