Cause I'm Single
Quick caveat: This post is about nobody but me, take from it what you will. Some people think my posts are about them, but if I don't specifically call you out as I have done in previous posts, stop being so damn conceited.
Sigh to be single again. Let me tell you the truth about being single, it takes getting used to. You know why serial monogamists exist, because they were in a long relationship got out and could not get adjusted to being single again. You know those people who holler "I'm single and ready to mingle" and shy away from relationships; they can do that because they not only accepted being single but have also lived as a single individual for a while and become accustomed to it.
For the past four years I have been in several continuous relationships. Since the most recent break-up, I found myself reaching to create relationships and friendships where they did not exist or need to exist. I was acting out of my own character, I was turning into one of those people...dare I say...a serial monogamist. I was turning into someone who did not want to be left alone. It was not until I was "auditioning" someone that I realized what I was doing. People are who they are, and nobody should have a friendship or relationship forced on them, and I certainly do not need to be the one doing the forcing. I realize I need to be single...like really single. See some people think they are single, but they are constantly on the go. Meeting up with friends, attending functions, talking to people, bbming, etc. That's not really being single. Really being single means being okay alone, and you cannot truly know you are okay being alone until you spend some time alone. No, the solo ride to one of your social, business, or miscellaneous events does not count as being alone. I bet in reading this you are thinking, "No that does count! I am alone all the time. I mean on Wednesday nights I come home and chill alone." But seriously is it really being alone, when you are talking on the phone or texting, and this is after you go to an event with a co-worker. Lol...try again.
There was a time when I was fine being alone, and I know that I still can be. Everyone has the capability of being okay alone, but it's just when you have companionship for so long or a clique/crew you always hang out with or talk to, you forget what it is like to be truly alone. Now you are probably thinking who would want to be completely alone; that's boring, that sucks, that's lonely, humans are social beasts by nature (later blog, most definitely). However, one of my favorite lines is from Socrates, "the unexamined life is the unfulfilled life", and if you do not like that one how about, "how can you love someone else, when you don't love yourself". This is not to say you should spend weeks and weeks alone. Rather to say I think ti wise to not work so hard to reach out to people and create bonds, during this time. Please spare me the stories of how deep you are, or how you are constantly working to improve yourself, because unless you can honestly look through this post and see nothing applies to you, or better yet look through it and are offended then you probably need to check yourself out and see why something written here bothers you. I think once comfortable in your own skin then you can truly enjoy being single.
Sigh to be single again. Let me tell you the truth about being single, it takes getting used to. You know why serial monogamists exist, because they were in a long relationship got out and could not get adjusted to being single again. You know those people who holler "I'm single and ready to mingle" and shy away from relationships; they can do that because they not only accepted being single but have also lived as a single individual for a while and become accustomed to it.
For the past four years I have been in several continuous relationships. Since the most recent break-up, I found myself reaching to create relationships and friendships where they did not exist or need to exist. I was acting out of my own character, I was turning into one of those people...dare I say...a serial monogamist. I was turning into someone who did not want to be left alone. It was not until I was "auditioning" someone that I realized what I was doing. People are who they are, and nobody should have a friendship or relationship forced on them, and I certainly do not need to be the one doing the forcing. I realize I need to be single...like really single. See some people think they are single, but they are constantly on the go. Meeting up with friends, attending functions, talking to people, bbming, etc. That's not really being single. Really being single means being okay alone, and you cannot truly know you are okay being alone until you spend some time alone. No, the solo ride to one of your social, business, or miscellaneous events does not count as being alone. I bet in reading this you are thinking, "No that does count! I am alone all the time. I mean on Wednesday nights I come home and chill alone." But seriously is it really being alone, when you are talking on the phone or texting, and this is after you go to an event with a co-worker. Lol...try again.
There was a time when I was fine being alone, and I know that I still can be. Everyone has the capability of being okay alone, but it's just when you have companionship for so long or a clique/crew you always hang out with or talk to, you forget what it is like to be truly alone. Now you are probably thinking who would want to be completely alone; that's boring, that sucks, that's lonely, humans are social beasts by nature (later blog, most definitely). However, one of my favorite lines is from Socrates, "the unexamined life is the unfulfilled life", and if you do not like that one how about, "how can you love someone else, when you don't love yourself". This is not to say you should spend weeks and weeks alone. Rather to say I think ti wise to not work so hard to reach out to people and create bonds, during this time. Please spare me the stories of how deep you are, or how you are constantly working to improve yourself, because unless you can honestly look through this post and see nothing applies to you, or better yet look through it and are offended then you probably need to check yourself out and see why something written here bothers you. I think once comfortable in your own skin then you can truly enjoy being single.
posted by K. Jobe | 21:31
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