Guard Your Grill

This post is inspired by true events, but since I believe people favor anonymity we will say that this post is inspired in part by Keri Hilson's "Love Knock You Down" song. Everyone has had the experience when they meet someone and there is this crazy, sexy, undeniable vibe between the two of you, and you have to act on it. Sometimes this action may result in spending a weekend together, talking on the phone for hours, or "going in" on the first encounter; it may even involve all three of these. Crazy, right. Thoughts racing, emotions flaring, hormones pumping. You think, "Chill Kamal, relax. This ain't me, I will not allow myself to begin falling for someone I just met. I mean yeah, we kicked it, and the vibe was cool...and I am crazy attracted to her. But you gotta be cool, you gotta play it cool."

Suddenly playing it cool becomes hard. For the next two or more weeks that person is on their Ps and Qs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_your_Ps_and_Qs . You really cannot believe this, you are starting to believe this may actually be the real deal. This may be your wifey material or (sorry ladies do not know what you call a man of similar status... hubby material???)You don't want to play yourself, but at the same time if you don't let this person know you digging them they may walk, and who could blame them. Here is what I strive to do (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't): let them in without letting them inside.

They want to get to know you better? Fine. They want to spend the night? Cool. They want to meet your friends? No problem. Here's what you do, they can get to know you better without knowing your secrets. They can spend the night but make sure everything they brought they leave with (hint: toothbrush, comb, shirt). They can meet your friends, they can meet the ones from your job aka acquaintances. Part of the reason breaking up is hard to do is because you have mutual investments involved. Their friends are your friends, their stuff is over your house and vice-versa, they know that the $600 you borrowed senior year of college was not for a credit card bill but for a hospital procedure.

Do not misunderstand me, eventually the person you care for and love should know your secrets, have some items at your place, and know your real friends. But do not mistake those first few weeks or months of bliss for love everlasting. Hell this may be the perfect one for you, but it may not be. Everyone knows I am a cynical a**hole. Maybe my advice does not mean much. However, while they are on their Ps and Qs I think you should guard your grill.