TechnoLove
You ever wonder what technology has to do with love? It helps people find love right? You can find your perfect match on Match.com or find the initial spark with Chemistry, or take your chance with local speed dating events. Sure these things are all true, but the converse also occurs. What happens when you are in a relationship on Facebook? Everyone wants to know who you are dating, what do they look like, and of course they want to see pictures of you two together. When you get into a fight with them and change your status to It's Complicated, or you update to say, "Why dudes always gotta blah blah yadda yadda" people comment on your status. If you are on twitter and tweet about how you can't stand when...you get the point. Furthermore, a grass is greener on the other side effect takes hold. I will discuss what I mean by this later.
First, let us discuss how prior to social networking when two people were dating, it was their business and not the world's. Obviously, we still have couples who elect to keep this private, myself included, except when forced to do it by the person I am dating...but I digress. Something happens when you expose a relationship everything is put under the microscope, and people freely comment on your pictures, places you visit together, heck you become a local celebrity. And like all celebrities the demise is a better show then the relationship itself. Now the problem is not necessarily announcing you are in a relationship, or even who you are dating, the problem is the advent of technology in general allows you to air your dirty laundry for all to see and comment on. Technology allows you to freely converse with those who simply have no business commenting on something they are unqualified to speak on.
There is a reason people go to see therapists, they want someone to listen to their problems. Even better if the person tells them they are right. With smart phones that allow you to text, facebook, tweet people at any time sometimes simultaneously, you have a way to tell people in brief what you are going through, and how pissed off your significant other has made you. On the other end, people can comment saying how you are right for feeling that way, how they are going through the same thing, and how he ain't shit (I use he because let's be honest mainly females air their dirty laundry). Back in the day people made strong attempts to work through their problems, counseling was done by a trained professional or by an older, wiser family member. Back in the day people's private lives were private not a subject to be made fun of and whispered about on global networks.Rather I should say, people had the common decency to work through their problems or express their interests and concerns to those around them personally instead of in a blind format status update, tweet, text, etc. Perhaps you disagree, and you feel that taking these actions do not harm the relationship. I can only speak for myself, and I recall that in the case of one of my exes, I absolutely hated that after an argument she would start texting people. It was not even a matter of whether she was texting people about our problem, to me it was the mere fact that she had this tool of completely escaping and ignoring the present situation by speaking to an outside world of people. And if I could feel that way, you better believe there are others who feel the same.
You also face the grass is greener on the other side effect. You have websites like: Match, Chemistry, eHarmony; the usual social sites: Facebook, Twitter; or even sex-based sites: AdultFriendFinder, Craigslist, Xtube etc. (do not want to give you guys any ideas). When you engage in these sites you see people who have amazing bodies, or great careers, or other things that peak your interest. Instead of being satisfied with what you have, you are trading messages on Facebook or one of the other sites. You are constantly tempting yourself, and it is only so long you will be able to resist the temptation.The message may start off innocent, a simple hey, whats up, hows it going. But let's be honest, if you were to see messages between your significant other and someone of the opposite gender, who was NOT a preexisting friend prior to the relationship, you would be pissed off. Furthermore, when you are not dating someone you see all the good and none of the bad. Therefore, you do not realize that leaving your good relationship for what you imagine to be something better will actually cause you to end up as unhappy if not more unhappy then before. I will try to bring this all together now.
For example, say Lucy and I are dating. While we are dating Brian hits up Lucy on Facebook: Sup. Lucy responds: Nothing, how are you? Later down the line Lucy complains in general on Facebook, how I don't appreciate her cooking. Brian comments: some men don't know a good thing when they have it. Lucy gets the thinking, "K. Jobe
As a final word it is no surprise that the divorce rates in rural areas is finally catching up to the divorce rates in urban areas. As technology spreads so does the capability to avoid issues, be impersonal, and surround yourself with constant temptation.
First, let us discuss how prior to social networking when two people were dating, it was their business and not the world's. Obviously, we still have couples who elect to keep this private, myself included, except when forced to do it by the person I am dating...but I digress. Something happens when you expose a relationship everything is put under the microscope, and people freely comment on your pictures, places you visit together, heck you become a local celebrity. And like all celebrities the demise is a better show then the relationship itself. Now the problem is not necessarily announcing you are in a relationship, or even who you are dating, the problem is the advent of technology in general allows you to air your dirty laundry for all to see and comment on. Technology allows you to freely converse with those who simply have no business commenting on something they are unqualified to speak on.
There is a reason people go to see therapists, they want someone to listen to their problems. Even better if the person tells them they are right. With smart phones that allow you to text, facebook, tweet people at any time sometimes simultaneously, you have a way to tell people in brief what you are going through, and how pissed off your significant other has made you. On the other end, people can comment saying how you are right for feeling that way, how they are going through the same thing, and how he ain't shit (I use he because let's be honest mainly females air their dirty laundry). Back in the day people made strong attempts to work through their problems, counseling was done by a trained professional or by an older, wiser family member. Back in the day people's private lives were private not a subject to be made fun of and whispered about on global networks.Rather I should say, people had the common decency to work through their problems or express their interests and concerns to those around them personally instead of in a blind format status update, tweet, text, etc. Perhaps you disagree, and you feel that taking these actions do not harm the relationship. I can only speak for myself, and I recall that in the case of one of my exes, I absolutely hated that after an argument she would start texting people. It was not even a matter of whether she was texting people about our problem, to me it was the mere fact that she had this tool of completely escaping and ignoring the present situation by speaking to an outside world of people. And if I could feel that way, you better believe there are others who feel the same.
You also face the grass is greener on the other side effect. You have websites like: Match, Chemistry, eHarmony; the usual social sites: Facebook, Twitter; or even sex-based sites: AdultFriendFinder, Craigslist, Xtube etc. (do not want to give you guys any ideas). When you engage in these sites you see people who have amazing bodies, or great careers, or other things that peak your interest. Instead of being satisfied with what you have, you are trading messages on Facebook or one of the other sites. You are constantly tempting yourself, and it is only so long you will be able to resist the temptation.The message may start off innocent, a simple hey, whats up, hows it going. But let's be honest, if you were to see messages between your significant other and someone of the opposite gender, who was NOT a preexisting friend prior to the relationship, you would be pissed off. Furthermore, when you are not dating someone you see all the good and none of the bad. Therefore, you do not realize that leaving your good relationship for what you imagine to be something better will actually cause you to end up as unhappy if not more unhappy then before. I will try to bring this all together now.
For example, say Lucy and I are dating. While we are dating Brian hits up Lucy on Facebook: Sup. Lucy responds: Nothing, how are you? Later down the line Lucy complains in general on Facebook, how I don't appreciate her cooking. Brian comments: some men don't know a good thing when they have it. Lucy gets the thinking, "K. Jobe
As a final word it is no surprise that the divorce rates in rural areas is finally catching up to the divorce rates in urban areas. As technology spreads so does the capability to avoid issues, be impersonal, and surround yourself with constant temptation.
posted by K. Jobe | 22:22
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home