It's My Perogative

Shall we begin with this thought:  you are in control of your destiny and your life. We can all agree that some of us may have started in a higher place socially or economically than others, but aside from birthrights, you are in control ultimately of your life and the people in it. This does not end here...no, you see you are also in control of what you do on a day-to-day basis. I know, you are shocked! K. Jobe whatever do you mean I am in control of what I do daily. You're wrong, I have certain obligations, priorities, responsibilities.

Granted if you have kids you should feed, clothe, shelter them daily, if for no other reason then to do otherwise would be breaking the law, and you may be arrested and charged for child neglect. Granted you should go to work everyday, if for no other reason to do otherwise would cause your termination and subsequent economic hardship. Granted if you go to school you should do your homework, if for no other reason then not failing, getting kicked out and losing the time and money invested. I am talking about outside of those things. I am talking about hanging out with people you do not care for, volunteering for positions or jobs you do not want to do, going to events you have no interest in, drinking or partying when you want to be home in bed playing video games or reading a book. If you do not want to do it, then do not do it. Declining invitations will not or should not make you a social pariah unless you do so far too often, in which case you are a social introvert.

A lot of people may feel like they know how to do this but I guarantee you very few practice it. I see people on a daily basis who are a member of a crew they only care 75% for. Well here's a quick-fix, only hang out with the ones you like. Sure it sucks to hurt someone's feelings, and I am not suggesting you throw stones in a glass house (meaning do not go out insulting others when if the same was done in retaliation you would break), but I am suggesting you do not put yourself in situations you do not want to be involved in simply to appease others. Furthermore, if you do not really consider someone a friend, then stop talking to them and hanging out with them. You can always be cordial (I always am) but simply decline invitations to chill or have in-depth conversations, eventually they should get the point. What is always funny to me, is when people put themselves "out on a limb" for a friend? Whether emotionally, financially or professionally, and then get upset when that person does not return the favor. If they do not want to return the favor that is on them, and truth be told you should not be lending someone money if you cannot afford to. You should not be getting someone a job, when you either just started one or do not have one. In this dog eat dog world you have to look out for #1. Do not be mad at them for following the social contract, simply learn to only do favors when you actually want to or would like to do them for that person. P.S. it is not rude to tell them you are doing them a favor, so there is no confusion you are doing it for their sole benefit, and would appreciate some reciprocity. Like I said I am not trying to be mean, but state the facts. I have been socially amoured for the latter half of my life, and to be honest a large part of that was a result of doing things I did not really want to do.

I emphasize really because I want it to be clear. I am not going out beating village, women, and children against my will. Or doing something else I have staunch beliefs against. It can be as simple as someone inviting me to see a movie or go to a bar when I am tired. Eventually I am persuaded to go, and then kicking myself in the ass for being out $60 and not even having that much fun. Well then stop it. If you do not want to go out, do not go. Guess what else? You do not even owe anyone an explanation. "Kamal how come you are not coming to _____?" "Cause I do not feel like it." That should be the end of it, now chances are I will tell you why not such as sleepy as hell, out of town, other things to do, etc. Final thought: if I have given you any type of explanation as to why or what I am doing, please do not inquire further. It's rude as hell. The other day someone asked why I would be late. Told them I have a funeral to go to. They not only asked who died, but how they died and how I know the person. On another occasion, I told them I have a meeting after work. They asked what was the meeting for and when did it end. Seriously, that is not okay. If I want you to have my itinerary I will hire you as my personal assistant. Until then stop watching my moves.