Addiction
There is a Kelly Clarkson song called "Addicted" that inspires me to compose this blog. The song itself is maybe about 7 years old, but it is new to me. The song speaks on an addictive relationship she is in, but easily translates to any habit that becomes addictive in one's life. I love the song because it speaks truths in so many volumes about anything that becomes addictive. One of my favorite lines in the song is "I know I let you have all the power". This song is so significant to me because often times with illegal substances, alcohol, bad relationships, or any other addictive habits, we give that "drug" all the power. We allow ourselves to be at the mercy of the person we are in a relationship with, only later to desire some control given back to us. Unfortunately, once that power is given away it is hard if not impossible to reclaim it.
Another memorable line in the song is in the chorus where she says, "It's like I can't think, without you interrupting me, in my thoughts, in my dreams, you've taken over me. It's like I'm not me". I think it was in hearing this verse that I realized how much the song would mean to me because I myself have often fallen a victim to losing myself to keep up the lifestyle this addiction has given me. I am sure others can agree that the whether your addicted to coke, weed, meth, alcohol, or a person; that drug enters your daily way of life and your sleep at night. All things involve them, and you are no longer the person you were prior to that addictive relationship beginning. All decisions made have them in mind, all dreams you dream have them involved in it, you feel like an entirely different person, and for reasons unmentioned you do not remember who you were prior to this addictive relationship.
In another verse, she quotes, "And I know these voices in my head are mine alone, and I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now." This too is so dark and so honest. We become blindly aware that there is a problem, and that the drug of choice may not affect other people the way it affects us. It may not be that Johnie is necessarily a bad person, but the way Johnie makes you feel is bad and that is strictly in your head. That is not to say you are crazy, but specifically Johnie's affect on you is not good. Same thing with an actual drug, most people can handle weed or coke in moderation, but there are some who are affected by it in a different way, but that is not the drug itself but that person's mind when affected by the drug. It is similar to the idea that your ex may not necessarily be a bad person, but they were simply bad for you.
Clarkson goes on to explain "Just a little bit more to get me through this, I need a fix, I can't take it". This means a lot because once wrapped in this addictive cycle it is hard to exit, and you constantly feel like after a little bit longer you will end things. Except it never happens. The reason this relationship continues is because it offers these moments that we think are great, but the "coming down" is treacherous. You may be drunk and feel social and happy but then the hangover is so horrible you want to end things. However, you keep it up because you wish to recreate that social and amorous attitude. In dating you may have these golden moments with the person, moments that you think are perfect and simply amazing, but then shortly thereafter things could not be worse. That person may suddenly change and treat you badly or exercise the control over you we discussed earlier. We tell ourselves it is not that bad, or things have not hit rock bottom yet. The truth is we are kidding ourselves, and the addiction is so strong we can provide endless rationale to keep the cycle going. We may be keenly aware that this cycle is never-ending, but it is due to the strength of the drug that we abandon the idea of giving it up. If we remain vigilant in keeping the bad times in mind, in keeping the loss of control, and loss of self in mind, we may find the strength to walk away from things for good.
Live Performance
Another memorable line in the song is in the chorus where she says, "It's like I can't think, without you interrupting me, in my thoughts, in my dreams, you've taken over me. It's like I'm not me". I think it was in hearing this verse that I realized how much the song would mean to me because I myself have often fallen a victim to losing myself to keep up the lifestyle this addiction has given me. I am sure others can agree that the whether your addicted to coke, weed, meth, alcohol, or a person; that drug enters your daily way of life and your sleep at night. All things involve them, and you are no longer the person you were prior to that addictive relationship beginning. All decisions made have them in mind, all dreams you dream have them involved in it, you feel like an entirely different person, and for reasons unmentioned you do not remember who you were prior to this addictive relationship.
In another verse, she quotes, "And I know these voices in my head are mine alone, and I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now." This too is so dark and so honest. We become blindly aware that there is a problem, and that the drug of choice may not affect other people the way it affects us. It may not be that Johnie is necessarily a bad person, but the way Johnie makes you feel is bad and that is strictly in your head. That is not to say you are crazy, but specifically Johnie's affect on you is not good. Same thing with an actual drug, most people can handle weed or coke in moderation, but there are some who are affected by it in a different way, but that is not the drug itself but that person's mind when affected by the drug. It is similar to the idea that your ex may not necessarily be a bad person, but they were simply bad for you.
Clarkson goes on to explain "Just a little bit more to get me through this, I need a fix, I can't take it". This means a lot because once wrapped in this addictive cycle it is hard to exit, and you constantly feel like after a little bit longer you will end things. Except it never happens. The reason this relationship continues is because it offers these moments that we think are great, but the "coming down" is treacherous. You may be drunk and feel social and happy but then the hangover is so horrible you want to end things. However, you keep it up because you wish to recreate that social and amorous attitude. In dating you may have these golden moments with the person, moments that you think are perfect and simply amazing, but then shortly thereafter things could not be worse. That person may suddenly change and treat you badly or exercise the control over you we discussed earlier. We tell ourselves it is not that bad, or things have not hit rock bottom yet. The truth is we are kidding ourselves, and the addiction is so strong we can provide endless rationale to keep the cycle going. We may be keenly aware that this cycle is never-ending, but it is due to the strength of the drug that we abandon the idea of giving it up. If we remain vigilant in keeping the bad times in mind, in keeping the loss of control, and loss of self in mind, we may find the strength to walk away from things for good.
Live Performance
posted by K. Jobe | 16:56
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