Back 2 Scratch
There comes a time in your life when you realize "Dammit, I do not want to go back to dating." The getting dressed up, the going out, the meeting people, the initial awkwardness, the figuring out what they like, what they don't like, the small sacrifices, the art of impressing the person, the first time having sex with them, meeting the families -- it goes on and on. It is all one big mess of a shitshow that after a few times doing it, you really have no desire to do it again.
The problem is does that mean you are settling? Are you choosing to be with someone who does not completely make you happy because you figure it's better than to begin dating again, or even worse to be single for the rest of your life. Here is my thing, and granted I am cynical and mildly pessimistic aka realistic. What makes you think you are so worthy as to be happy for the rest of your life? I mean seriously. Some people spend their entire lives battling a disease, or working a job they hate, or dealing with a family that belongs on a 90s daytime talk show. How on Earth did it get into your head that if the person you are dating is not everything you imagined your soulmate to be, then they gotta go? You can retort, everyone deserves to be loved Kamal, but we are not talking about love. We are talking about happiness, everlasting. They are believe it or not two different things.
My mom and dad love me, but that did not stop them from whooping my ass if I stepped a toe out of line. I love some of my friends, but sometimes I wish they would shut the hell up. I bring up these two relationships because these are basic relationships that you can identify with since childhood. So again I ask why do we believe that the person you love and who loves you in an intimate, emotional, and physical way should always make you happy? Why do we believe that at the first sign of trouble we should abandon ship? Now that does not mean that if your boyfriend Chris Brown's you, you try to work it out. But at the same time if he does not think you should buy that car just yet, there really is no need to bite his head off or move out.
There are so many people who do not survive the initial stages of dating that it seems almost...well not almost, it is stupid to throw it all away when the going gets tough. Hey but maybe I am wrong. Being single is awesome, there is complete uninhibited freedom. All decisions are made with you in mind, and you do not need to tell anyone about your moves or actions. I reflect on those days fondly, but it is not without its downs. Cancelled dates, bad sex, spending a lot of money, endless frustration, and the possibility of lonely nights. The question you have to ask yourself at the end of the heated discussion, is do you want to go back to scratch?
Honestly, if things are bad enough the answer will be a quick yes, but if you begin to hesitate then maybe there's a reason behind it.Nobody is entitled to complete everlasting happiness, all we can do is try to find that person who makes us happy most of the time, and willing to work through the rest.
The problem is does that mean you are settling? Are you choosing to be with someone who does not completely make you happy because you figure it's better than to begin dating again, or even worse to be single for the rest of your life. Here is my thing, and granted I am cynical and mildly pessimistic aka realistic. What makes you think you are so worthy as to be happy for the rest of your life? I mean seriously. Some people spend their entire lives battling a disease, or working a job they hate, or dealing with a family that belongs on a 90s daytime talk show. How on Earth did it get into your head that if the person you are dating is not everything you imagined your soulmate to be, then they gotta go? You can retort, everyone deserves to be loved Kamal, but we are not talking about love. We are talking about happiness, everlasting. They are believe it or not two different things.
My mom and dad love me, but that did not stop them from whooping my ass if I stepped a toe out of line. I love some of my friends, but sometimes I wish they would shut the hell up. I bring up these two relationships because these are basic relationships that you can identify with since childhood. So again I ask why do we believe that the person you love and who loves you in an intimate, emotional, and physical way should always make you happy? Why do we believe that at the first sign of trouble we should abandon ship? Now that does not mean that if your boyfriend Chris Brown's you, you try to work it out. But at the same time if he does not think you should buy that car just yet, there really is no need to bite his head off or move out.
There are so many people who do not survive the initial stages of dating that it seems almost...well not almost, it is stupid to throw it all away when the going gets tough. Hey but maybe I am wrong. Being single is awesome, there is complete uninhibited freedom. All decisions are made with you in mind, and you do not need to tell anyone about your moves or actions. I reflect on those days fondly, but it is not without its downs. Cancelled dates, bad sex, spending a lot of money, endless frustration, and the possibility of lonely nights. The question you have to ask yourself at the end of the heated discussion, is do you want to go back to scratch?
Honestly, if things are bad enough the answer will be a quick yes, but if you begin to hesitate then maybe there's a reason behind it.Nobody is entitled to complete everlasting happiness, all we can do is try to find that person who makes us happy most of the time, and willing to work through the rest.
posted by K. Jobe | 20:29
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