Cubiquette & Office Space

We all know what it is, or what it must feel like to work in a cubicle workspace. I, for one, have never been a fan of it, and dislike it even more than I used to. This is not because you need push pins or tacks to decorate, or because you have no say in the color or layout, but mainly because some people do not follow the simple rules of cubiquette (yes cubicle etiquette). The rules mainly deal with respecting people's workspace and allowing peace and quiet for people to work. These rules are simple, but essential, and if you realize you have been or are in breach of one; slap your wrist and rectify the problem. So allow me to lay them out for you.

1. Bring headphones! I cannot express this rule enough. If there is one thing your co-workers will literally hate you for is because you have the nerve to listen to the radio, watch youtube videos, or even have the "do doop" sound playing aloud from your computer. At my job I often have to listen to hearing tapes, and while some may be funny or sad, nobody else needs to hear what I am listening to. Headphones are also helpful for when people are talking nearby and you need to tune them out, see: rule 3.
2. Keep your phone on silent and nearby. I have heard the Super Mario ringtone, some Arabian Nights sounding shit, and the super old school ringtone I thought died out with Zack Morris's cell phone. While the first time it happens it usually is a source of amusement, but the 2nd time and/or the 3rd ring, its crossed the line into pissing someone off. Now obviously, you may have an important call coming in, or maybe you just don't want to miss a tweet or status update, which is why you keep it nearby so the second an important call does come you can get up and leave. Yes...get up and leave. I will say it again, get up, and leave. If you do not have an office, it is probably in your best interest to take the call out in the hallway unless you know it will be a quick call. Because if I overhear you talking about how such and such got chlamydia, but that "ain't even the half of it" I am not only listening to your convo but I am alerting the local Health Board to notify them. This is especially to those whose voices carry, see I know I can talk loud, especially if I'm a bit inebriated so I tend to either whisper on the phone, not take personal calls at my desk, or get up and walk to the hallway.
3. Mind yours. This applies to life in general, but if I am having a conversation in my cubicle, and you overhear (which is likely considering its only a cubicle) please do not interject yourself into the conversation. Now there are exceptions to this rule: if you are offering something of equal or greater amusement value (and it better be funny), or perhaps we are discussing a work situation and you actually know the answer or have some helpful info. The worse thing you could do, and this has happened, is overhear me and such and such talking about how great a movie was and you interject to say you did not like it. No bueno.
4. Get some exercise. Do I want you walking back and forth behind or in front of my cubicle. No! At the same time I damn sure do not want to hear you yelling to John over the cubicle walls. In addition, yelling over the cubicle walls is dumb in the first place because it's a cubicle I can hear you as long as you are not whispering.
5. Cubicles do not make a community. I think some people feel like they sit so close to each other it is okay to constantly be at the other's cubicle, or looking to see what they are doing. No, ma'am. Now maybe we are friends, and I am friends with a few of my co-workers, but that does not make it okay to stop by ALL the time. Or look at my computer and ask questions about what I may be looking at or who I may be talking to.

Follow these simple cubiquette rules, and everyone will find you pleasurable to work with.